Unwanted CDs by Emil Mikulic

My dad subscribes to the official 3D Studio list-server and every once in a while someone comes along and writes a really funny joke that's usually pretty-much off topic.

A funny one I can remember was "Write in C" - the blues of a young programmer who doesn't use C (sung to the tune of "Let it be" by the Beatles). Another one was a list of "alternative" questions posted on the newsgroup, i.e.:

"What do I do if my dongle-chain droops?" and "What's the chemical makeup of a comet tail?"

But the latest funny my dad told me of was a tale of CD-burning. You see, some people have a CDR (CD Writer/Burner - make CDs) and use it to make archives or something like that. My dad has one in his office, it's an older one and it's huge - I've never used it though.

Anyways, sometimes you get bugs in software or even a mechanical malfunction (if your CDR is stuffed) and the CD that you were burning is stuffed so that you can't use it again and you have to throw it out. The CD is "toast". :)

Okay, thay only cost about $10-$15 (Australian bucks) depending on the Now, here's the really funny stuff. Here's a list of things you can do with "toasted" CDs or demo CDs that you don't want:

1. Play frisbee - it's educational, CD-debilitating fun for everyone! (Except the CD, that is.)
2. Use it as a coaster. My dad actually has a CD-coaster! It was a CD that was used to test the software and equipment but now it "rests in pieces" under dad's juice glass.
   (Mental note: a CD-coaster is reusable all until you put a hot drink on it - i.e Coffee!)
   
3. Scientific research. Check out the diffraction of microwaves through stable organic phythalocyanine dye. You can usually only do this once with a CD.
4. Paint tar all over the underside and then put it into the CD drive of a person who annoys you and brags about his brand-new extra-fast CD drive. Make sure the tar is still tacky!
5. Get lots of them, sharpen the sides into razor-blades and start your own ninja-clan. How do you spell "shuriken"?
6. Get lots of them, use them to decorate the Christmas-tree. My dad and I actually did this!
7. Next barbecue - "How do you like your CDs? Rare, medium or well-done? Want to try some pickled CD plastic?"
8. Test the structural integrity of the media. Slam it against the wall violently and see what's inside! Great to relieve stress and give you consolation after a day at school/work.
9. Chuck a few off the top of a really high building during a parade. When everyone has a camera (and is looking for UFOs). And when many people are in danger of being hit by a flying piece of plastic, "Ha! I got 'im good!"
10. Steal a fat teacher's lunch in the morning and then give him chocolate-covered CDs after school saying "You look starved! Here, you need these more than I do...". If he really has to know, your mum put chocolate-donuts at the bottom of your bag.

There's a bit of crazyness for you! If you do anything noted here you must take all responsibility for it because I disclaim all liability for any damage any of these things may do!